This is the next installment of the phases of life series. We’re now in the phase of development called Emerging Adulthood. In my PhD studies, I’m trying to figure out the role that the developmental phases of life play in how we learn and do housework over the life cycle. I’ve always been interested in human growth and development. After 18, the amount of literature and research drops off quickly. The key distinguisher of this phase of life versus others is this feeling of being “in between.” Things happen legally at certain ages (18, 21), but other things are assumed to be inherently known or done. This isn’t a US thing, it is a developed country thing. In Asia, until you are married your parents take care of you. In Italy, you live at home with no obligation that you would do the housework until you’re about 30. People are living at home longer now, and not owning homes until they are older.
I remember being in my 20’s. I went to a 4-year college, got married a year after graduation, and adopted my babies in my late 20’s. So I was a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) with 2 kids by the time I was 30. I tell my kids that your 20’s are for trying things. Different jobs, schools, food, places to live – get experience so you know what you want to do by the time you’re in your 30’s. What does it mean to adult? By the time we are 30, we should be responsible for our finances, housework, where we are living, the job we want, and relationships. Finding friends in your 20’s is hard!
What is our capacity? Time and money wise – the amounts kind of melt together. You start having to pay for the “not fun” things in life – insurance, rent, utilities, etc. Things you never realize are part of adulthood. Then there’s how we use the physical spaces in our home during this phase. Most of the spaces will be smaller, but will still have zones. Our mini apartment (bedroom), a dorm room, an apartment or condo. I’m already extending my parenting horizon to 25, mostly because I have children with ADHD. It’s difficult for these new adults in this phase, but it’s hard for us parents too. We’re not done. Not that we are ever truly done – but the active parenting to a certain degree is done.
As your 20 year olds start to take on more responsibilities of adulthood, there are some that are more easily acquired and there are some that take longer and have more limitations. As the parents of adults, I am paying for and providing these things for our children, but I’m looking at it as we are property owners. Will this work all the way until they are 30? Then I’m doing it.
Organize 365® has the Launch Program for 16-25 year olds. Inside of Launch, there are lessons for turning your bedroom into a mini apartment and understanding the zones, a starter Sunday Basket®, and a binder with parts of the Medical, Financial, and Household Reference Binders for renters. Clothing, food, and entertainment are the biggest areas where you will fully embrace adulting.
What scaffolding or support do we need? Understanding. This is a phase, there are pluses and minuses. It can be challenging. Having a way to communicate what true adult responsibilities are and what that looks like when you are successful is difficult. It’s much better when the person in their 20’s can figure out what they want to know and then ask the parents. This is the phase of life when you realize the fact that you have to clean your bedroom for the rest of your life!
EPISODE RESOURCES:
- Parabolas Illustration
- Launch Program
- Kids Program
- ADHD Bundle
- The Sunday Basket®
- Sign Up for the Organize 365® Newsletter
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