Spoiler alert... It's not about them. It's about you.
Yes, I know you have been asking me over and over again to tell you how to organize your husbands. But you are only in charge of you. And I am only in charge of me.
The first step in getting your husbands on board with your organizational program is to reflect on where you are in your organization.
What stage of organization are you in?
Stage 1: Complete Overwhelm
If you are in this phase of organization, you probably don’t need me to expound any further.
- You don’t know where to begin.
- It seems pointless to even start.
- The project is going to take so long that you can’t even see when it will be completed.
- You listen to a podcast, read a blog post, or watch a TV episode about getting organized and are super excited until you turn around and look at your own organizational challenge. Suddenly, you are frozen in place.
Stage 2: Systems & Organization
In this phase of organization, there are still things that need to be donated and, occasionally, trash in the areas that you go to organize. However, the difference is that you can actually see places that need to be organized. You’re not completely overwhelmed as soon as you walk in the space.
While the task may still be daunting, if you start in one corner of the room, you can work your way around to the other corner in a matter of hours, days, or at least within one week.
Stage 3: Refining Your Systems & Maintaining
In this phase of organization, you may choose to invest in some cute magazine-type organization products that are just pure fun... or very decorative.
It is also in this stage of organization that you are able to organize the entire kitchen in a matter of hours. The storage room that used to take you a week to organize will now be able to be organized in a matter of hours.
While the need to maintain your home and continue to organize it does not go away, the amount of time, effort, and resources necessary to do so diminishes greatly.
So, what stage are you in?
Are you still working on your mindset of organization or have you started to take action?
How long did it take for you to move from listening to and reading about being organized to actually becoming organized?
Have you completely organized yourself yet? I know I haven't.
It is so easy for us to start organizing ourselves and start making progress. Then, we look to our spouses and notice they have not made the same progress we have made. We want them to be doing what we are doing.
However, they need to see a few more things from us before they're ready to jump on board.
1. Husbands are looking for you to be consistent.
How long have you been organizing? And are you organizing on a regular basis or just when the mood strikes?
I am sure you would not still be following me if I was not consistent about the number of posts and podcasts that I write about organization. And if I was talking about organizing in obscure areas of the home or in areas that are not relevant to you, you would not be interested in my style of organization.
But because I have been consistently blogging and podcasting about organizing for five years, and have focused on the steps and stages to getting you organized, you are following me and you are successful.
Your husband is also looking for you to be consistent and continue organizing before he decides to join you.
2. Your husband is looking for results that last.
How many other times have you said that you were going to get organized?
Have you ever tried an organizational system or approach that has not worked long term?
Even if you are making progress getting organized with me now, how long has your husband been seeing you make this progress?
He wants to know that the system that you have found now is really going to work and is worth the time investment.
3. Change is yucky.
Change, even good change, can be yucky. It means that you will feel differently in your space. It also means that you have to learn to live a different way, live with less.
And if you are the one deciding to make the change, he may be resisting the fact that he does not have a say... even if an organized life is better.
4. He has to want it for himself.
There is no way around this one. You can only change you. He has to want the change that he sees in you.
5. Stop focusing on his passion projects.
Most husbands do not have the same quantity of items that their wives do. What they do have are passion projects with lots of pieces and parts.
While you are decluttering areas of the house that are not your passion project, most spouses only keep items that are part of their passion projects. They are afraid that agreeing to get organized with you means they have to give up their passion projects.
So continue to move the items related to their passion projects into fewer and fewer rooms of the house, but let them decide when and if they reduce the amount in their stash.
Listen to the podcast to hear more about how to focus on organizing you and how husbands usually come around.