On the podcast this week, I ask you the question – who is in your top five?
Let me explain!
A few years ago, a cell phone company had a benefit for their customers where you could select the top five people that you talk to the most on the phone and those calls would be free. They would run advertisements where they talked about you having a “top five.” My husband, Greg, and I used to find the whole “top five” thing amusing, and I recall it was often the source of jokes with comedians!
Then I heard a quote and it really had an impact on me.
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” by the late Jim Rohn.
You’re the average of the five people that you spend the most time with in terms of income, positivity, taking action, etc.
The five people you spend the most time with are who you’ll be the most like.
I remember when I first heard this quote, it really caused me to think about who the five people are that I spend the most time with.
At the time, I was thinking about how true the quote was. My income was the average of the five people I spent the most time with. My gossip level was the average of the five people I spent the most time with! (I don’t gossip anymore, but I used to gossip a lot!).
I changed how I spend my time
It was a conscious decision that I made to change how I spend my time. Hearing that quote over and over again and thinking, well, who do I want to be like?
- What income do I want to have?
- What kind of free time do I want to have?
- How do I want to spend my free time?
- What do I want to talk about in conversations?
I don’t listen to the news anymore, but at the time I was watching CNBC every day and I was freaking out about the stock market… our money… every day.
I lived in a very moment-to-moment life. Now I live a much more peaceful, purposeful, proactive, and cultivated life. I have cultivated the life that I am living. I let the media and the people in that I want and I don’t let in the rest.
My life is not directed based on what comes across my desk or comes across my TV. Even in my free time, I am choosing not to be marketed to through commercials, and I’m choosing not to get my news fed to me through a regular network news program.
Who are your five top people?
Now when you hear that, you may think about the five people you spend the most time with. They may all be under three feet tall! You’re not going to change that. You’re not going to change your spouse, your kids, your parents, your parish, your church, your whatever.
The people you spend the most time with are somewhat static and somewhat flexible. So, who you spend the most physical time with may not be as easy to change as who you spend your intellectual time with.
Ask yourself, who do I want to learn from? Who do I want to be like? If I could hang out with them tomorrow, and we lived in the same city, who would I hang out with?
I changed my top 5 through podcasts. I picked two or three podcasters I really liked at the time and I listened to every one of their episodes. And I would sometimes listen to their episodes over and over again so I would mentally be with them all the time.
When I find someone I like, I listen to their podcasts and (virtually) I become their “best friend” and get to know a lot about them.
You probably know a lot about me. You may listen to me every day. You may be interacting with me on social media. I like to think that I might be one of the top five people that you spend the most time with!
Great characteristics of your top five people
I want you to think about the average of the five people you spend the most time with, and who are the five people you most want to spend 2018 with.
Here are four characteristics of people that I think would be most helpful for you to have in your top five going forward in 2018.
- Focus on people who are positive and encouraging
Seek out people who are positive and encouraging and are looking at life through a positive lens. If you have a positive and encouraging mindset, things are just easier and go better.
- Five people who will encourage you to think and grow
You know, there is no neutral. You are either thinking and growing or stagnating and reversing.
Now, I like a good, tantalizing conversation. I love conversations that are going to cause me to think and grow and stretch and refine and change the way I view things.
And if we’re really going to solve the problems in the world, we have to see the other side of things. I can’t teach you about organization if I think there’s only one way to get organized. I have to be in a mindset of collaboration and not “my way is the only way.”
- Find people who will help you reach your goal and not theirs
Sometimes people want you to achieve your goal so that they achieve their goals. But, sometimes they want you to do something just because it’s their goal and not in your best interests.
I would like you to get very clear on what’s the one thing you really want to do in 2018 and then seek out people in your top five who can help you achieve that goal.
- Find people who motivate you, inspire you, and encourage you to do more and be more
When I’m around people who are helping me up-level my game – physically, intellectually, emotionally, spiritually – in my business, I dress nicer, I stand taller. I want to put my best foot forward.
If you are picking aspirational people to be in your top five, you can’t do what you’ve done every day up until now. Right? You really have to up-level your game. Put in that extra 15 minutes, and take that extra thinking time in order to be more like these people that are in your top five.
Change your mindset
A year from now at the end of 2018, what do you want your life to look like? Who do you want to be associating with? How much money do you want to be making? Who are those people that are living the life you want to be living 12 months from now?
Your top five don’t have to be the physical people you see every day. They can be, but they don’t have to be.
So really, consciously, think about who is going to be in your top five going into 2018.
